They say “A Happy Marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short”. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that usually makes unhappy marriages. Yes, that is true; tried and tested too!
Often most of us look for an ideal partner without paying much heed to what we lose giving out in our relationship. Relationships are always about finding the right balance. Aren’t they?!
Marriage leads to a beautiful relationship. It’s a responsibility which both husband and wife need to carry to make it worthwhile and exciting.
While it is important to expect things from your husband, it is equally important to be understanding, caring and giving as a wife.
I am listing below a couple of points that I feel are crucial for the success of any marriage. These are some issues that have been a learning for me; a few from my marriage and the remaining from my friends around the globe.
- Be clear and transparent.This habit builds great trust over time. And this will also strengthen your bond. Once your husband understands that you are fearless in speaking the truth, he would try to replicate the same from his side. And wouldn’t that be absolutely amazing?
- Always choose love.Don’t treat love only as an emotion. You need to exhibit your emotion through your actions. Love is in the little things of life and sharing the bond that you share with your husband. Make your time together, time worth remembering and cherishing.
- Never forget or take for granted that your man chose you. Isn’t that the biggest proof that he loves you? Believe in him!
- Always seek out the best in your spouse.Dwell on those things which you adore about him, not what you dislike mostly.
- Allow your man to zone out occasionally. Your man may not necessarily be ignoring you. And even if he is it will most probably be a temporary phase. All men just go through such phases. Give him that space!
- Husbands can express themselves differently. There are times that the expectations and reality may not match. Instead of comparing your husband with other’s husband or an ideal imaginary man, understand him. You would not want to miss out on some beautiful moments because of any other expectations lingering in your mind.
- Laugh at his jokes.Even if they aren’t funny. And enjoy the fact that he wants to see you smile.
- Dress up for Him.The more feminine you act the more it reminds him he is a man. Make yourself look pretty. Work-out and dress well for the occasions.
- Cook for him. If not regularly, cook a good delicious meal occasionally. Surprise him!
- Never underestimate the power of touch.Touch is powerful and healing. Go all out and embrace when you think you’re falling short of words.
- Don’t let the financial concerns in your life affect your marriage. Marriage is all about supporting each other in times of stress. Financial stress can pay heavily on the minds; make sure that the love bond is not affected. Finance can be taken care of; a strained relationship may not mend itself on its own.
- Don’t try to forcefully fix him.As much as you want there could be only few things about your husbadn which can be fixed. For rest of them let time play a role or get accustomed to his personality.
- Be available.Give him your time and attention when he needs it. This is the most important ground for any marriage and its longevity.
- Allow your man to just be the way he is. As I mentioned above, just allow your husband to be the way he is. Just be a gentle guiding force; when the time requires step in.
- Forgive Him Often.Don’t let history hold you or your man hostage. Forgive, Forget and Move on!
- We are responsible for our own reactions. React appropriately. Don’t lose it all in anger!
- Tell him how strong and manly he is.They tend to forget. Be his strength… That will make him secure.
- Give him space.As much as you need space sometimes for various reasons, remember he is a human being too. Work on finding the right time to step in and step out if required. He needs times to find his new self before he can give of himself.
- Never take advice from others. They probably don’t know you and will make you do stupid crap that will not be applicable or appropriate in your marriage…Take advice only from someone who is a well-wisher and understands the relationship well.
- If required, seek counsel from older, wiser women who have succeeded in their marriages. And seeking counsel from your friends who are your own age isn’t very good. Take advice from people who have years of experience and can guide you better.
- Be vulnerable. Do not be afraid to share your fears and feelings. They would understand you more if they know how you feel in different situations. They need to know what hurts you and what makes you happy.
- Have expectations. But do not let them over power you. Do your best to make your half of the marriage superb, the other half will eventually fall into place.
- Find common hobbies. Never stop growing together. Laugh lots. Fall in love over and over again by doing things which interests the both of you.
- Quit your bitching when he gets home. That’s not what he wants to hear when he is around you. Talk of positive happenings during the day.
- Acknowledge the pasts. Try to speak up, talk about “it” when it happens instead of fighting about it ages later. It will prick more if it’s discussed at the wrong time.
- Love him in the way he desires. And not the way you assume he needs it. Men are different and every man is unique in the way he wants affection from his spouse.
- Try to be reasonable. Own your feelings and emotions, meet your own needs, turn to a higher power for what you lack, and allow your higher power to make up for what pain your spouse will cause. This will make you stronger and dependency on the spouse will reduce
- Never talk about other men. They may not say it often but they can get jealous. Also, please note they are possessive too but they may not show it.
- Be willing to have him sexually.He will love you for that!
- Don’t ever put your spouse down! He has to know that he will have your back. Publicly rebuking him can damage your relationship. Try discussing things behind four walls; not even in front of your kids.
- Have sex with him. Making love acts like a balm, it covers and heals a lot of the wounds we inflict on one another in a marriage. Have sex with him, as often as he wants and see the love grow!