The saying goes as follows: ‘Marriages are made in heaven.’ Are they? If they were, they would be perfect for all of us, wouldn’t they? It is the duty of both the partners to build a heaven or create a hell out of their marriage. For marriages to work the efforts are required from both sides and these need to be sustained efforts which are made out of will. No partner should ever feel taken for granted. It pains to be dedicated and not find the other person at the same level.

At this juncture, it’s important to understand as to what exactly makes a marriage work?

I am not a professional marriage counsellor or relationship expert. I have worked closely with a few acquaintances and have seen a lot of marriages wither away due to simple issues.

Love your spouse: If you love your spouse, you are more patient with him/ her. Being a romantic, you won’t have to worry about the balance cards as you would almost always take care of things.

Also understanding somewhere is more in relationships where love and trust exists.

Erase the past: Try your best to get rid of all old issues bothering you both as a couple. It is important to talk and move away from any negative past. All healthy relationships need to be built on respect, commitment, loyalty, emotional transparency, and freedom to pursue your passions.
If your spouse has the habit of digging up the past, you people need to sit and figure out a one time solution for the ache that the past is causing.

Embrace the change: Falling in love is not the same thing as staying or being in love. One should be prepared to face the ups and downs and changes involved with various decisions you make as a couple. Embracing change and considering each other’s feelings and perspectives is recipe for a long and beautiful partnership. Listen to your partner but don’t follow him / her blindly; pursue what you wish to pursue in life. A happy you can go a long way in keeping the two of you happy.

It’s a partnership: Any relationship depends upon two people. If you are the one who is working harder and sweating it out more, possibility is it will never work out and you will always be running around trying to work it out. If you are into a habit of giving in all the time to make it work, possibility is that you will be expected to give in life long.  This is one major issue troubling most marriages, hence it needs to be got rid of as early in marriage as possible.

Choose wisely: Love and marriage are totally separate entities. It is important to love your marriage and the one you are married to, but is that all? Remember, that your family is made out of your marriage and happy marriages lead to happy families and in turn contribute to a better society.

Keeping other criteria’s aside such as physical attractiveness, comfort and wealth, look at qualities viz., intelligence, adaptability, reliability and compatibility for the long-term haul. Once you have a lot of things in common, you will be more open and comfortable with your partner.

In reality, there’s no right or wrong way to fix your relationships. Every single case is different and unique.  It is imperative to recognise when your relationship is not working and being honest when it needs a fixing. Finding your own way that works, keeping in mind the similarities and differences you share is the pre-requisite to solving any problem in hand.